Author Archives: Toni Cao

About Toni Cao

Toni is the co founder of China Love Date

When Asian dating leads to a wedding

When a western man meets a woman through an online Asian dating website, it often leads to the next step: marriage. However, because China has a long history steeped in rich culture, the wedding traditions can be quite different from those with which a westerner is familiar. If a couple plans to marry in China, or even follow some of these traditions, it helps to have an idea of what is to come.

Wedding

Matchmaking

Although Asian dating sites have frequently taken the place of traditional matchmaking in China, it still does occur from time to time. Traditionally, the first step in a relationship would be for a family to hire a matchmaker who would, in turn, visit another family’s home to seek a proposal. From that point on, each family would visit a fortune teller who would advise on the compatibility of the couple. If he or she found good results, a marriage deal would ensue. Essentially, this is how Chinese arranged marriages work.

Some families still opt for the arranged marriage, but more often than not, Chinese singles find their own true love and a modern engagement follows. Even in China, many modern men offer an engagement ring to their betrothed.

Betrothal gifts and bridal dowry

Betrothal gifts and a bridal dowry are traditional parts of any Chinese engagement and marriage. Today, the engagement ring is often seen as a betrothal gift, but in the past the groom’s family would send an array of gifts to the bride’s family. In most cases, betrothal gifts were things such as cakes and food. It is important to note that once the bride’s family accepted these special gifts, the wedding could not be called off lightly.

In turn, tradition mandates a bridal dowry. The bride delivers her dowry, or an assortment of gifts, to her husband’s family after they have been wed. In China, when a woman marries, she becomes part of her husband’s family, leaving her family home behind. For the rest of her life, her familial responsibility will lie with her new family. The value of the dowry was often used to determine the bride’s status in her new household.

Fortune teller consultation

Even in these modern times, some traditions still remain. This happens to be the case with the fortune teller consultation with regard to Chinese weddings. Traditionally, before an engagement can be confirmed publicly, each family will consult a fortuneteller who will analyze not only the couple’s names, but also their date, year and time of birth, to determine if they really are compatible.

In the past, if the fortune teller found negative results, then the engagement would not go ahead. If the analysis was favorable, traditional families would confirm the engagement with the practice of ‘three matchmakers and six proofs’. The proofs were a measuring vessel, an abacus, a pair of scissors, a ruler, a set of scales, and a mirror. Today, many modern families still observe this custom as a fun way to respect their tradition and heritage.

Want to date Chinese girls, but are too nervous?

Have you always wanted to date Chinese girls but are painfully shy?  Don’t let your shyness ruin an opportunity for love – it’s time to get out of your head and into the moment.

Love hearts

Every shy person knows that they spend too much time worrying about the “what ifs” in social situations.  We also know that it can be hard to just let go and get into the moment, so we’ve put together a list of tips of dating techniques for extremely shy people that will work when you date Chinese girls or anyone else:

  • What are you interested in?  Remember, the more you talk about things that you are interested in and care about, the more relaxed you’ll ultimately be.  Overcoming shyness starts with being able to start a conversation.
  • Practice.  Before you go on the first date, practice a little.  You can make a video of yourself practicing small talk.  Do this often and you’ll probably feel a little less weird when it’s the real deal.
  • Try not to fidget.  If you’re nervous, chances are you’re going to be fidgeting, but try to keep this to a minimum. A good way to achieve this is by pressing your index finger and thumb together for a few moments and repeating the process; this can actually calm you as well!
  • Wear something interesting.  We’re not telling you to wear something off the wall, but go for something that can be a conversation-starter.  Wearing something that your date will notice and comment on is definitely a smooth way to break the ice.

The good news is that as you get older, shyness usually lessens, and it is perfectly normal to feel a little shy and nervous on the first date.  Just remember to be honest and try to enjoy yourself.

Dating Asian singles? Consider a visit to Beijing

Millions of visitors flock to Beijing every year to see the capital of China, making it one of the most visited cities in the country, so why not take a trip there while dating Asian singles?

The vibrant jumble of neighborhoods, districts, and sights has a long and rich history that goes back more than 3,000 years.  It is also a city that was seemingly transformed almost overnight as officials prepared for the 2008 Olympics.

Dating

Within the city’s borders, the perfect mixture of old and new abounds.  Gone are many of the lively old alleyway neighborhoods known as hutongs, and in their place stand glittering towers reminiscent of soaring diamonds.

Situated in the city’s northwestern suburbs at the feet of the Western Hills, the Beijing Botanical Garden is a great place to visit when dating Asian singles, especially in the spring when the peach trees are blooming.  The garden is also home to China’s largest plant collection, a state-of-the-art greenhouse, and a variety of different gardens.

The ancient observatory dating back to the time of Genghis Khan is also a sight to see.  To China’s ancient imperial rulers, interpreting the heavens and stargazing was the key to maintaining power.  Records of observations at this site date back more than 500 years, making it the world’s longest documented astronomical viewing site.

Taking in the historic charm of the city is an essential aspect of any trip to Beijing, but doing a little shopping never hurts.  The quaint old street of Liulichang, also known as “Antiques Street,” was built during the Ming Dynasty and now features a multitude of small shops, boutiques, and galleries.  Over the years, the street became the meeting place for intellectuals and today is a prime shopping spot for art, books, antiques, and local treasures

What single Asian women like about western men

Why is it that so many single Asian women seek out western men for romantic relationships?

There are a number of reasons why Asian women prefer western men. Sometimes it is to do with their social or economic status, or else the attraction may lie in the perception that they are not as desirable to their local male counterparts. Whatever the reason, the fact remains that a considerable number of Asian women are dating, and marrying, western men.

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The face of beauty

Many western men find Asian women, especially those from China, particularly attractive and exotic. Because of this attraction, Chinese women who feel that they do not meet the standards of beauty at home may opt for foreign suitors who might find them more desirable. Women who find themselves to be mediocre in appearance by Chinese standards are often considered gorgeous among westerners. Lucy Liu, who has been regarded to be one of the world’s most beautiful television and movie actresses in the United States, for example, is seen as ‘a little bit ugly’ in China.

Leftover women

In China, it is commonplace for women to be married by the age of 28 and if she is still unmarried by then, she is often considered to be a ‘leftover’ woman. Often, these women have pursued education and careers rather than romance and marriage. Unfortunately for them, many Chinese men will find them undesirable because they have not married, so they turn to western men for love.

Purity and age

As with China’s ‘leftover’ women, those who have reached the age of 30 and are no longer virgins will be found undesirable by the majority of Chinese men. Divorced women with children are also less desirable. In most surveys, age and virginity are the least important factors for Chinese women when looking for a man, but the opposite is true of Chinese men seeking women. Western men often do not see these factors as a negative when dating women.

Economics

In China, education and family background play a large part in one’s desirability, especially to men. Women from poor families often have little chance of marrying anyone outside of their current social status, which is one of the reasons they might be attracted to western men. Bear in mind that almost 65% of China is agricultural, which means that a majority of the country’s women are from these poorer families.

Thanks to online dating sites, Asian women who are interested in dating western men now have an even better chance of finding that special someone. The Internet has made the world a lot smaller and given opportunities to people that they would not otherwise have been afforded in the past. So, regardless of the reasons why an Asian woman might want to be in a relationship with a western man, she now has a good chance!