Author Archives: Toni Cao

About Toni Cao

Toni is the co founder of China Love Date

The art of Ai Weiwei and Chinese dating

Staying abreast of Chinese current events is a good way to help you to develop a good conversational basis with a Chinese woman you have met online…


One interesting story is about what happened at a Miami art exhibit of China’s Ai Weiwei’s work: Weiwei is one of China’s most famous artists, and he is also known for his political points of view, some of which he has even been imprisoned for.  He also happened to design the Bird’s Nest Olympic Stadium for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.  Weiwei is not just an artist but also a documentarian, designer, and sculptor who often uses his art to shed light on the many injustices he believes are taking place in China.

The Perez Art Museum in Miami (PAMM) featured an exhibit of Weiwei’s work but apparently Maximo Caminero, another artist from Florida, wasn’t so happy about the show.  Caminero was so upset that the international artist was “stealing” museum space from locals that he smashed a vase from Weiwei’s exhibit.  That vase also happened to be about 7,000 years old and worth around $1 million.

Caminero will pay $10,000 to Weiwei and ultimately serve 100 hours of community service, consisting of teaching kids to paint, as well as his 18-month probation period.  He could have been required to serve five years in jail, but PAMM decided to waive that punishment.

Hopefully, this news story gives you a good excuse to learn a little more about Weiwei’s art and will provide you with excellent fodder for conversation in your Chinese dating adventures!

Asian dating online? Tips for that first message

Asian dating online can be a lot of fun, but if you’re new at the practice, you might need a few tips for sending that first message.  Just like a pick-up line in a person-to-person exchange, the first message can range from silly to weird.

online dating - messages

There is an art to online Asian dating.  In fact, lots of people receive hundreds of messages every month, so you really want yours to stand out when you make your move.  With the right combination of intelligence and charm, your messages will start to garner a response from those you want to meet most!

Here are a few light-hearted suggestions.  Remember, your goal is to catch her attention while not coming off as a creep.  It’s all about having fun and being honest…

  • Hey, what’s up?  There really isn’t a requirement for creativity.  If you just want to send a simple “hello” message, go for it.  This is actually a pretty effective route to take since it is so simple.
  • You like that? Me, too!  If you’ve spotted someone who has similar interests, go ahead and message her about that common link.  It shows that you’ve paid attention to her profile and might be someone she would be interested in meeting.
  • That’s really cool!  As you’re going through potential dates, you might come across something that an individual has done or made.  Go ahead and send a message offering your thoughts about it and invite her for a chat!

Although there really is no right or wrong way to send that first message, we hope these simple ideas help you out.  If you’ve got a different approach, let us know!

Chinese dating at the Shoton Festival

Setting up an online Chinese dating profile can be a lot of fun, but what happens once you’ve been communicating with someone special who is half a world away?  Often, online dating relationships lead to meeting in person, and that might involve some level of international travel.

Shoton Festival

If you’ve already planned your trip to China for August, the Shoton Festival might be a lovely way to spend some of your time there.  The festival, which takes place on August 26th this year, is held annually in Lhasa, the capital of the Tibet Autonomous Region.  The summer is a great time to visit the region thanks to the good weather, but it is important to plan ahead since this also happens to be the peak travel season.

The Shoton Festival dates back to the 11th century and was strictly religious until the 17th century.  This transition happened when the Great 5th Dalai Lama incorporated Tibetan opera into the festivities, making it more accessible to everyone.  It consists of three different parts: the Great Buddha Display, the Tibetan Opera Show, and the Horsemanship and Yak Race.  The festival is rooted in tradition and history, and it is a great spectacle for visitors.

If online Chinese dating or just a hunger to experience a different culture brings you to China in the summer months, it is highly recommended that you set some time aside to also visit Tibet and experience this grand event.

Dating etiquette and sex: single Chinese women versus western men

When it comes to the way dating etiquette and sexual intercourse are viewed, there are many differences between single Chinese women and western men. There are so many western men who are interested in dating Chinese women, that it actually behooves us to understand and appreciate these differences.

Heart ribbon red

Thanks to such fundamental cultural differences, western men are often shocked by the way that Chinese girls view certain elements of the romantic relationship, especially when it comes to sex. In an effort to avoid embarrassing misunderstandings, it is a good idea for western men to learn as much as they can about romantic relationships in China before they begin dating a Chinese woman.

Love, sex and marriage

In China, dating is a serious business and casual sex is practically non-existent. In the West, this is not the case. Many Americans, for example, date several people simultaneously and have a much freer sense of sexual relationships. In recent years, pre-marital sex has become less of a taboo in China’s larger cities such as Shanghai and Beijing, but this new view has not become the norm in smaller villages where traditional views still reign. That being said, western men should not be surprised to meet a thirty-year-old virgin if she has never been married.

There is a paradox, however, when it comes to a Chinese woman’s virginity. It is not so unusual for a woman to engage in pre-marital sex – even on the second or third date – if she views her mate as a potential marriage partner. Pre-marital sex, in fact, is often viewed as a binding deal maker, meaning that if a woman has sex with a man whom she is only dating, his feelings are mutual when it comes to wanting marriage as the next step. It is important for western men to be open and honest in this situation.

Family involvement

Another surprising element of dating Chinese women is that it is often a family affair. In many cases, a woman’s parents will play matchmaker and set her up with a suitable young man. This, however, is not always the case. Sometimes, a woman will seek out her own potential partner. When this occurs, she probably will not discuss the men she is seeing with her mother, girlfriends, or anyone else for that matter. If a woman is serious about a man, however, she will discuss him with her mother.

So, if a Chinese girl asks you home to meet her family, she is quite serious about the relationship. In the West, this move is often the formal engagement announcement. In China, it is assumed.

A good rule of thumb is never to agree to meet her family if you are not also considering marriage.

Social consequences of dating western men

It should be known that when a Chinese woman has dated a foreign man, or even lived with him, her chances of future marriage to a Chinese man have been cut dramatically. Most traditional Chinese men will not even consider a woman who has had a foreign boyfriend, whether or not she remains a virgin. There is a strong bias against foreigners for many traditional Chinese people when it comes to romance and marriage.