Category Archives: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

Asian dating: moving from the East to the West

Often, in Asian dating relationships, couples fall in love and live happily ever after – but where do they end up living? In order to be together, one must relocate overseas. It is common for a couple to start their lives together in China and then move to the U.S. afterward.

east or west, opposite signs

So, what happens when a couple moves from the East to the West like that? Is there culture shock? The answer is yes: for both parties! Here’s a look at some challenges the couple might experience:

  • A general disinterest in the lives you lived in China. Living abroad is usually only exciting for the person doing it. Aside from very close friends and relatives, most people in the U.S. won’t care as much as you think. It is often the opposite in China – most people are intrigued with life in the U.S.
  • People may judge your spouse based on her accent. Unfortunately, not everyone is as open-minded as they like to think. Many people are extremely judgmental against anyone that speaks English with an accent. On the other hand, there are many people who love those with accents and gravitate toward them!
  • Discrimination. You probably experienced your share of discrimination in China as an American, so don’t expect it to be different when your Chinese spouse arrives in the U.S. As far as the world has come, this still happens at times. Just be as prepared as possible.
  • You’re going to miss REAL Chinese food. American Chinese food just isn’t the same! The odds of you finding take-out that really satiates your hunger in this department, you’re probably going to need to learn how to cook authentic Chinese food and frequent the Asian markets whenever possible!
  • Driving. Driving in the U.S. is not like driving in China! In fact, lots of people in China just don’t drive, so you’re going to have to give lessons – or get professional help for your spouse!

The bottom line? Don’t let these challenges deter you from Asian dating, falling in love, or moving to or from China! Challenges come with every new chapter in life; you’ve just got to be prepared!

 

Many Chinese girls like comfort food (especially KFC)

The idea of indulging in comfort food after a breakup isn’t exclusive to women in the West; Chinese girls often go through the same thing. Just ask Tan Shen, a 26-year-old newly single lady from Chengdu, China.

Fast food restaurants in Shanghai, China

After getting dumped by her boyfriend, Shen had a craving for some comfort food – chicken wings specifically – so she headed over to the nearest KFC, where she wound up nursing her broken heart for an entire week. Although she didn’t plan to stay at the fast-food restaurant for so long, she felt that she couldn’t go back to her apartment, which was filled with memories of her relationship.

We’ve heard of taking some time to think after the end of a romance, but a week in KFC is an unusual measure. Hopefully a week of chicken did the trick. She ended up leaving after the local media showed up.

Although the story of Tan Shen might seem heartbreaking, it just goes to show that Chinese girls, despite their air of mystery and appeal, are just like anyone else; they can be shattered by a breakup.

Take some time to think about why you’ve joined an online dating site. Have you just gotten over a relationship and are looking for a new love? If so, keep in mind that the ladies you’re interested in might be seeking the very same thing!

Chinese dating: the basics of marriage customs

If you haven’t figured it out by now, many Chinese dating and marriage customs are quite different from those in the West, so what happens when Chinese dating leads to marriage? Here are some things you should know:

wedding bouquet in hands of the bride

  • When a woman gets married in China, she leaves her family and lives with her husband’s family instead. She then becomes the “property” of her husband.
  • Although arranged marriages were once very common, they are now quite rare and thought to be old-fashioned. However, in observance of tradition, the parents usually plan the wedding.
  • In Chinese culture, one must “save face” and avoid embarrassment as well as conspicuous displays of prosperity and wealth, which is even more important if it is the eldest son who is marrying. Failure in this department could actually lower the family’s social status and bring shame to them.
  • Planning a Chinese wedding is time-consuming and involves several stages including information gathering, negotiation and engagement. Planning begins when the couple announces their intention to marry.
  • The information-gathering period involves both families sitting down and meeting without the couple. They will discuss their backgrounds and develop a rapport.
  • Negotiation occurs when both families are satisfied with each other. During this period, a female relative of the groom will visit the bride’s family and ask for her hand. This is when a date and time for the wedding is set as well as the dowry, guest list, and other details.
  • The engagement period only occurs if wedding preparations will take a long time or if the couple wishes to take it slow. This only happens with the bride’s parents’ consent. In China, engagement is more of an indication that the couple intends to marry rather than a binding commitment to do so.

Giving gifts to Chinese girls

If you have been dating Chinese girls for any period of time, you might have picked up on the notion that gift-giving is a pretty big deal in the Chinese culture, and it’s a little bit different than the way things are done in the West.

Gifts

In the West, it is often the thought that counts when giving a gift and not the actual value of the present itself. In many cases in China, however, the value does come into play. This can be challenging for many guys, but don’t let this scare you away from dating Chinese women or buying them gifts. The truth is that for most modern women, the thought really does count!

Gifts can be categorized into two groups: those for special occasions and those that can be given at any time. Chinese girls love to receive gifts, especially those that come as a surprise. Surprises mean that you have been thinking about them. Things like scarves and flowers are great surprise gifts.

If you really want to make an impression, go for the gold, and that could mean literally. However, the good news is that you don’t have to invest in expensive jewelry to impress her if it’s out of your budget. Many American products such as perfume, cosmetics and clothing are incredibly expensive in China, so if you send her some small items that don’t seem like such a big deal in the U.S., she might be completed wowed.