Category Archives: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

What’s different about dating single Asian women?

As you may have already figured out, dating single Asian women is often a little different than dating single white women, partially because China is a very old nation with thousands of years of continuous tradition.

Asian dating - marriage

Though the basics of dating are pretty much the same, there are quite a few things that are different about dating single Asian women.  Here are some examples:

  • When dating begins.  In China, college entrance examinations are top priority, so dating is typically not tolerated among high school students.  This doesn’t mean that Chinese women don’t have teenage crushes; it just means that they enter college with a lot less romantic experience than women in other countries.
  • There’s a purpose.  In China, people tend to take a very pragmatic approach to dating.  Often, dating isn’t as much about finding a soul mate as it is about finding a marriage partner that meshes with one’s ideals and stability.
  • Parents are involved.  Though all parents are different, in China, they are often more involved in their children’s romantic relationships.  In the United States, this is often seen as meddling, but in China, it is sometimes welcomed.
  • In the bedroom.  Typically, premarital sex is pretty rare in China, and is taken more seriously than it is in most Western cultures.  Though attitudes toward sexual activity are changing, many Chinese women view sex as a stepping-stone to marriage.
  • The ultimate goal.  Throughout China, the primary goal of most romantic relationships is marriage – and lots of Chinese young adults are under familial pressure to find a good spouse.  This is particularly true for ‘leftover’ women – those who are pushing 30 but still haven’t landed a man.

 

Sure, these things are all generalizations, and certainly do not apply to every single Chinese person out there, but they are worth mentioning since it may help make some of those cultural nuances a little easier to understand.

Chinese dating is more than just courting a Chinese lady

You’ve probably figured out that Chinese dating is a little different than dating a girl from almost anywhere else in the world.  There are cultural barriers that you may never have even thought of.

dating

In an effort to help you combat these cultural barriers with as little confusion and embarrassment as possible, we’ve put together a list of some really helpful hints.  Just remember, this list isn’t exhaustive, but it will help you understand Chinese dating a little more than you did yesterday.

  1. Be responsive, especially with online dating.  Lots of Chinese women may seem shy during the dating process, but they still pay attention to how you court them.  So, if you receive an email or online message, be sure to respond that same day.
  2. In China, things such as your general health, family situation, and age are not private matters.  Do not be offended if a Chinese woman asks you questions about them.
  3. The same goes for financial matters.  In China, financial status and income are not necessarily private issues.
  4. Many Chinese women will be interested in your education and will probably ask you right away.  If she speaks English well, this usually means she is very well educated in her own right.
  5. Remember, if you have communicated only via email, some of those written messages may have been translated into English.  When you do speak on the phone, don’t make her feel embarrassed by her efforts – embrace them, and try your hand at Chinese.
  6. Never use the phrase, ‘I love you,’ unless you mean it.
  7. Lots of Chinese women do not drink, so when it does come time to meet up, it might be worth an invitation to dinner or coffee rather than to a bar.
  8. If you are the guy, you will be expected to pay for most meals and dates.  This is simply tradition.

Chinese dating tips for Western men

At first glance, Chinese dating can seem extremely complicated.  It’s certainly very different from dating in the West, with much more focus placed on getting to know each other in the company of others before any more intimate encounter is suggested.  In practice, however, it doesn’t take long to find you feet, and Chinese women will understand if you make minor mistakes.  After all, it is partly your different cultural background that’s appealing to them.

Even when you’re using an online Chinese dating site, you’re likely to be more successful if you understand the different expectations Chinese ladies have.

The importance of romance

For most Chinese women, dating is a serious matter, not something they rush into or treat lightly.  It is usually seen as a prelude to a serious commitment and often marriage will come up in conversation early on.  To impress a Chinese woman, it’s important to show her that you are serious.  This is partly done by sending love notes, which our team can translate for you, and partly by sending gifts.  We make it easy to send flowers, which are always warmly received.

Sometimes a Chinese woman will complain about a gift or about something you have said and will appear to get angry. This is usually what is called sajiao; it’s a sort of test of love.  The proper response is to spoil her and show her that she is adored.  If she likes you, this will quickly win her over and you will see that she was being playful.

How to present yourself

China is still a country where it is considered very important that a man can provide for a woman.  As a Westerner, you will already be seen as having high social status, which gives you an advantage, but it’s also important to dress smartly and to make your wealth visible.  If you own a mortgaged house and a modest car, these will still be seen as symbols of great wealth by Chinese standards.

Chinese dating in China

Reliable Chinese dating sites like ours are a great way to meet beautiful Chinese ladies, but sooner or later you are likely to want to go to China to meet them.  First dates usually involve meeting in the company of friends.  We can send a member of our team with you so that you’re not alone and you have help with the language.  The date will most often be in a restaurant and you will be expected to pay for your date’s meal.  If the date goes well and she agrees to another, she is signalling a serious interest.

Sex after a date is unusual but it does happen.  In most situations, if a woman you have met on an online Chinese dating site agrees to have sex with you, it’s because she believes you will marry her.

The importance of family

If you want to marry or have a lasting relationship with a woman you meet on a Chinese dating site online, you will have to win the approval of her family.  The most important way to do this is to be polite, but small gifts for her parents at each meeting are a big help, showing your sincerity.

Why single Chinese women love Seattle

Did you know that lots of single chinese women actually love Seattle and travel to the city has increased since late last year?

seattle skyline

This phenomenon is in part thanks to the movies – and not just one.  Have you seen ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks – made all the way back in 1993?  In the film, a young single woman is on the search for love and she hears a recently widowed man on a radio show.  Inspired by the classic film, ‘An Affair to Remember,’ she ultimately ends up at the top of the Empire State Building in New York City, but not before she heads to Seattle first.

Fast-forward to 2013 and a Chinese romantic comedy came to the cinema called ‘Finding Mr. Right.’  In this film, a woman, pregnant with her married lover’s baby, travels to Seattle to give birth and win her man over once and for all.  Upon arriving to the United States, she proclaims her love for the film ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ as her reason for visiting the country.

Since that movie was released last year, single chinese women have been flocking to Seattle in droves.

So, take this knowledge and use it in your dating life.  If your Chinese love is a big fan of these romantic comedies as well, why not plan a surprise trip to Seattle?  Chances are, she’ll think of you as a real romantic – and it might just make for a very sweet engagement story, if that’s what you’re after!

Just remember, if you plan on traveling to Seattle for a special romantic weekend, you might not need a passport, but your girlfriend might (if she’s traveling to the Unites States from abroad.)  So, make sure you do your research on any required visas and paperwork she might need for the trip!