Overcoming cultural conflict in Chinese dating

We’ve all seen it: an American man with a Chinese woman, seemingly happy and in love.  There are undoubtedly cultural differences that come up in Chinese dating, so how are these overcome in such relationships?  It takes a lot of love, understanding, and patience, but it is possible.

chinese dating

Here are a few anecdotes that show the basic cultural divides when it comes to Chinese dating.  Of course, these are not applicable to every relationship; they are just some examples of how things might differ.  The secret to success is to be aware of these differences, embrace them, and move on!

Gifts vs. Loans

Sometimes, there is a fundamental difference between the idea of giving a gift and lending money, especially between romantic partners.  For example, if a Chinese woman has been hinting at a particular item that she’s had her eye on, she may be hoping for her American boyfriend to pick up on it and purchase it as a gift.  This is something that can apply to women of all cultures.  It might not be a good idea to suggest offering her a loan to make the purchase on her own.  A woman wants to feel valued and adored, and that is often illustrated through gifts, not loans.

Pre-nuptial agreements

Pre-nuptial agreements can be a sensitive subject regardless of the nationality or culture of the couple, but it can be even touchier when it comes to a Chinese woman and an American man.  In the U.S., it is fairly common for there to be a pre-nuptial agreement, especially if it is a second or third marriage for someone with considerable assets.  This is less common in China, so it could raise questions and hurt feelings if not approached properly.

A bad aftertaste

There is no question that American food and Chinese food differ greatly, and people might not be used to food from other cultures.  For example, Sichuan hot pot is one of the spiciest meals possible and it does leave a lingering aftertaste.  This can be quite shocking for an unsuspecting American if he goes to kiss his sweetheart!  He might have a negative reaction to this, which in turn, could hurt the woman’s feelings.  Don’t let it go that far.  Know what to expect!

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