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Asian Dating

Asian dating: “I’ll call you”

In Asian dating or any other kind of dating, hearing the words “I’ll call you” can lead to a strange sensation in the pit of your stomach.  In fact, there might never be another phrase on earth that is more simultaneously dreaded and yearned for.

Phone With Red Heart

What is it about this little phrase that inspires such mixed feelings in so many people?  If a woman wants to go out on a date or see a particular suitor again, these three little words evoke feelings of hope, wonder, and possibility.  On the other hand, these same women might also be experiencing dread, fear, and self-doubt.  Why?

There’s no surefire way of knowing if he really means that he will call. Is he just saying that he wants to see you again?  Often, love hopefuls will wait by the phone or check their cell phone relentlessly in the days following the date.  In Asian dating, the suspense can be even more intense when it involves suitors a world away.

What should you do when someone utters these words to you?

The first thing you should do is to take it easy.  Often, women think that the guy just isn’t into them if he hasn’t called within the first 24 hours.  In the same case, the guy might just be waiting for the right time to call.  We think that if the follow-up call hasn’t been made within a week, it is time to let it go and move on.  Remember, if someone really wants to see you again, they’ll make it happen.  Don’t pine away with the “what ifs.”

When Asian dating leads to a wedding

When a western man meets a woman through an online Asian dating website, it often leads to the next step: marriage. However, because China has a long history steeped in rich culture, the wedding traditions can be quite different from those with which a westerner is familiar. If a couple plans to marry in China, or even follow some of these traditions, it helps to have an idea of what is to come.

Wedding

Matchmaking

Although Asian dating sites have frequently taken the place of traditional matchmaking in China, it still does occur from time to time. Traditionally, the first step in a relationship would be for a family to hire a matchmaker who would, in turn, visit another family’s home to seek a proposal. From that point on, each family would visit a fortune teller who would advise on the compatibility of the couple. If he or she found good results, a marriage deal would ensue. Essentially, this is how Chinese arranged marriages work.

Some families still opt for the arranged marriage, but more often than not, Chinese singles find their own true love and a modern engagement follows. Even in China, many modern men offer an engagement ring to their betrothed.

Betrothal gifts and bridal dowry

Betrothal gifts and a bridal dowry are traditional parts of any Chinese engagement and marriage. Today, the engagement ring is often seen as a betrothal gift, but in the past the groom’s family would send an array of gifts to the bride’s family. In most cases, betrothal gifts were things such as cakes and food. It is important to note that once the bride’s family accepted these special gifts, the wedding could not be called off lightly.

In turn, tradition mandates a bridal dowry. The bride delivers her dowry, or an assortment of gifts, to her husband’s family after they have been wed. In China, when a woman marries, she becomes part of her husband’s family, leaving her family home behind. For the rest of her life, her familial responsibility will lie with her new family. The value of the dowry was often used to determine the bride’s status in her new household.

Fortune teller consultation

Even in these modern times, some traditions still remain. This happens to be the case with the fortune teller consultation with regard to Chinese weddings. Traditionally, before an engagement can be confirmed publicly, each family will consult a fortuneteller who will analyze not only the couple’s names, but also their date, year and time of birth, to determine if they really are compatible.

In the past, if the fortune teller found negative results, then the engagement would not go ahead. If the analysis was favorable, traditional families would confirm the engagement with the practice of ‘three matchmakers and six proofs’. The proofs were a measuring vessel, an abacus, a pair of scissors, a ruler, a set of scales, and a mirror. Today, many modern families still observe this custom as a fun way to respect their tradition and heritage.

Has Asian dating brought you to China? How to follow the laws

Are you doing a little Asian dating?  If so, your experiences may bring you to China at some point, which can be very exciting!  However, if you’re planning on traveling to China, it is important that you understand that the laws in China can be very different from those in the West.

Visiting China

So, when Asian dating brings Westerners over to China it is important to stay well-behaved – this means following the rules you do know and remaining respectful as well as using your common sense.  But, there are some things to keep in mind as well:

  • Register your place of residence immediately.  This can be a hassle, but it is essential.  You are required to register where you are staying within 24 hours.  When staying in a hotel, this is usually done for you, but if you are staying with friends or relatives, the onus is on you.
  • Always have your passport with you.  This may be hard to do, especially if you are doing something in which it could get lost or ruined, but it is essential.  Make a few photocopies of it and keep the real thing in the hotel safe.  You may or may not ever be asked to show your ID, but if you do, it is better to be safe than sorry!
  • Make sure your visa doesn’t expire.  There can be huge financial repercussions if your visa expires or you might be held indefinitely in a foreigner center, which is much like a jail.  If your visa is set to expire, renew it right away.  If it does expire, head to the nearest visa office and explain the situation as quickly as possible.
  • Be wary of outdated laws.  When laws become outdated they aren’t repealed like in the West – they stay on the books and are simply ignored.  However, this means they can be enforced anytime, so be careful.  One in particular: restricted hotels.  Sometimes, foreigners are not permitted to stay in some hotels, but usually larger establishments in city centers are properly permitted.

Just remember, stay on your best behavior and you’ll do just fine!

Asian dating? Advice on posting better pictures

If you’re into Asian dating, you will probably need to make an online dating profile, which will inevitably include lots of pictures.  You don’t have to be a professional photographer – or pay one – to get the best pictures up.
We’ve put together some quick tips that will make your photos seem a lot better than the competition.

Dating

  • Pay attention to the lighting.  If the lighting isn’t quite right, you’re going to look a little weird.  You could also make yourself look tired in the wrong sort of light.  Remember, indirect lighting is better than harsh sunlight. You should also avoid fluorescent bulbs.
  • Stay away from the mirror.  A selfie taken in the bathroom mirror might very well be one of the most unappealing photos, so keep it off your Asian dating profile.  Get someone else to take the picture.
  • Use a flattering angle.  If you aim the picture directly at your face at eye level, you might distort your features.  Avoid profile shots as well.  Always shoot from an angle, preferably from above.
  • Take off the hat.  Sure, you might look super cute in that baseball cap, but don’t wear it for your picture.  You can include one picture with your favorite hat, but don’t make a habit of it!  Remember, never use a hat to cover up the fact that you might have a receding hairline.
  • Smile pretty.  You don’t have to exclaim “Cheese!” to take a nice picture, but you do want a nice smile.  The goal is to appear casual and upbeat, which makes you more appealing to members of the opposite sex.

Good luck with your pictures.