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Chinese Dating

Chinese dating: don’t make these five mistakes

If you’re an American who is involved in a Chinese dating relationship, there are a lot of differences from the relationships you might be used to. Although Chinese women are interested in many of the same things as American women, there are some fundamental differences, especially in the way they expect a romantic relationship to go.

Paper hearts

A word to the wise: do not make these mistakes if you’re dating a Chinese lady:

  1. Don’t be in such a hurry. Slow down and take it easy. In most cases, Chinese women are immune to silly pick-up lines, so don’t waste your time. Take it slowly and ease into it – you’ll be glad you did.
  2. Keep your eyes to yourself. Yes, we said your eyes. Don’t stare at a female you don’t know. It’s rude in most cultures, but it is especially bad in China.
  3. Don’t ask for a phone number right away. It is never a good idea to introduce yourself and then immediately request a woman’s phone number.
  4. If you don’t speak Mandarin, don’t risk it. If you think you’re being charming by trying out the local language and call a girl “xiao jie”, you’ll be sorry. The formal meaning is “Miss” but informally you’ll be calling her a prostitute.
  5. Stay away from political conversations. This is important when a relationship is new because the Chinese government is very different from those in the West. You don’t want to hurt her feelings or insult her.

Here is a bonus tip for you:

Know that being “open-minded” might not mean the same thing to both of you. She is probably saying that she’s open to new ideas, easy to get along with, and is extroverted. It has nothing to do with the bedroom!

By keeping these tips in mind, you can start your relationship off on the right foot. Good luck!

Black Friday information for people who use Chinese dating sites

Although the biggest shopping day of the year will soon be upon us, it is unlikely that you will find any Black Friday specials on Chinese dating sites. Nevertheless, you might be interested to know that China has its own version of Black Friday.

It’s called Singles’ Day and it’s not mentioned very frequently on Chinese dating sites. Basically, it’s the opposite of Valentine’s Day. It is a day where everyone is supposed to purchase gifts for single people, and it usually falls on 11/11.

Singles day

Although some Chinese retailers have taken advantage of this day, there are more sinister sociological reasons that it exists in the first place. The imbalanced ratio of men to women in China is largely to blame. In 2011, there were about 34 million more men than women in the country.

It is not unusual for more boys than girls to be born in a given year, but the drastic difference in China is more likely due to China’s “one child policy”. The policy was originally intended to curb overpopulation and was strictly enforced. Today, some of the rules have been relaxed.

Right now, 94 percent of unmarried people in China are men, and many of them are turning to markets for a chance at finding love – or at the very least, a wife. Yes, we’re talking about physical markets where individuals post ads outlining their characteristics, achievements, and desires. It’s basically spouse shopping!

Chinese dating in England? Check out the BP exhibition

Chinese dating doesn’t necessarily require a trip to China to get closer to the country’s culture and history. If you happen to be in England in the near future, be sure to check out the BP exhibition “Ming: 50 years that changed China” at the British Museum.

The British Museum, London

If you want to gain a greater appreciation for China’s culture without making the long trek across the globe, this exhibit might help you achieve that goal. The museum offers a number of beautiful objects from China from the Ming dynasty, which lasted from 1400 to 1450. It was during this time that Beijing was established as the country’s capital and the iconic Forbidden City was built.

During the Ming dynasty, China was a global superpower as well as a cultural powerhouse. This period is responsible for much of the Chinese traditions and cultural values its inhabitants observe today, and these become obvious when you’re involved in Chinese dating. A romance between a Western man and a Chinese woman can be enriching and culturally expansive, and it is an experience that many people treasure regardless of how the relationship turns out.

Thanks to new excavations that took place during the last decade, this exhibit features a number of treasures that have not been seen before in the UK, ranging from gold and jewelry to furniture and textiles to paintings and sculptures. The exhibit will run until January 5, 2015, and it is free to the public.

Chinese dating: the basics of marriage customs

If you haven’t figured it out by now, many Chinese dating and marriage customs are quite different from those in the West, so what happens when Chinese dating leads to marriage? Here are some things you should know:

wedding bouquet in hands of the bride

  • When a woman gets married in China, she leaves her family and lives with her husband’s family instead. She then becomes the “property” of her husband.
  • Although arranged marriages were once very common, they are now quite rare and thought to be old-fashioned. However, in observance of tradition, the parents usually plan the wedding.
  • In Chinese culture, one must “save face” and avoid embarrassment as well as conspicuous displays of prosperity and wealth, which is even more important if it is the eldest son who is marrying. Failure in this department could actually lower the family’s social status and bring shame to them.
  • Planning a Chinese wedding is time-consuming and involves several stages including information gathering, negotiation and engagement. Planning begins when the couple announces their intention to marry.
  • The information-gathering period involves both families sitting down and meeting without the couple. They will discuss their backgrounds and develop a rapport.
  • Negotiation occurs when both families are satisfied with each other. During this period, a female relative of the groom will visit the bride’s family and ask for her hand. This is when a date and time for the wedding is set as well as the dowry, guest list, and other details.
  • The engagement period only occurs if wedding preparations will take a long time or if the couple wishes to take it slow. This only happens with the bride’s parents’ consent. In China, engagement is more of an indication that the couple intends to marry rather than a binding commitment to do so.