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Chinese Women

Chinese dating and holding hands

Chinese dating can be fun and filled with lots of excitement, but as a Westerner interested in Chinese women, it is important to understand that there are lots of cultural and social differences when it comes to romance.

Consider what’s happening in a high school in the Henan Province, located in central China.  School officials at Yanshi High School have banned boys and girls from holding hands on campus in an effort to thwart romantic relationships.

Holding hands

Violating this rule could result in expulsion from school after the initial offense. First-time offenders receive a warning and are suspended from school for at least a week of self-reflection.  In fact, the rule goes beyond just holding hands; students are also prohibited from falling in love.

Although the school says it made these rules in order to create an environment conducive to serious study and good behavior, it is receiving its fair share of criticism.  Many people believe that the bans are against human nature. After all, how can you prohibit someone from falling in love?

Yanshi High School isn’t the only establishment to institute such rules.  For example, in Hangzhou of the Zhejiang Province, male and female students at Changhe High School are not permitted to be alone together and must always stay at least 20 inches apart.  Another school forbids female teachers from wearing strong perfumes or black stockings so as to not entice the male students.

Needless to say, the views of Chinese dating in China are a lot different than those in the West.

The do’s and don’ts of Asian dating

When it comes to Asian dating, there are a lot of cultural differences between western men and Chinese women and this can make the relationship particularly challenging. Dating across cultures is never easy, but it is possible with a little effort!

Dating someone, after all, is about finding that special someone, making a connection, and maybe even spending the rest of your life with that person! So, to reduce that cultural burden, here are a few do’s and don’ts that every western man should know about Asian dating.

Chinese sign

The do’s

On the first few dates, it is particularly important to be polite and gentle. Most Chinese women will not allow you to see the ‘real her’ until she has gotten to know you a lot better. This is particularly true of Chinese women when looking for love via online dating sites. Typically, they want a cross-cultural relationship, which is often completely different than dating someone from China.

Another helpful hint is to be generous with the compliments, but not overly so. Chinese women go to great lengths to be as beautiful as possible on romantic dates, so the effort should not go unnoticed. Because they want to make a good impression, a compliment will go a long way.

When dating a Chinese woman, it is important that you contribute to the conversation, perhaps taking the lead in the discussion every now and then. Chinese women often prefer talkative, confident men who have something interesting to say. And remember, some Chinese women may take a while to open up and be as talkative as they would be with an old friend, so give it a little time.

The don’ts

Although, as mentioned, Chinese women want a confident western man, being over confident can be a problem. Modesty is a virtue in the Chinese culture, so you should do your best to heed that rule. It is never a good idea to show off your superiority to others or to talk down to anyone else.

In western societies, dating often moves quite quickly from one stage to the next, but this is not always the case in China. Many Chinese women prefer to take the relationship step-by-step. This means that you might not always get a kiss on the first date, and if you should try, you might find that you will scare her away. The key is to pay attention to her cues and never assume.

Another thing to remember when dating a Chinese woman is to know that it is up to you – the man – to reach out and request the next date. In western dating scenarios, women often call to arrange the second date, but this is a big no-no in China. Do not assume that she will call you up if she wants to see you again because the chances are she will be waiting for your call.

Although these are not all of the ‘do’s and don’ts of Asian dating, they are a good start. So, have fun and good luck!

Not enough Chinese women for single Chinese men?

Lately, it seems as though there is a growing problem of too many single Chinese men when compared to the number of single Chinese women.

china

According to recent statistics, the number of senior citizens is growing and the number of younger working class singles is shrinking.  This imbalance is found in almost every country across the globe, but it is particularly noticeable in China, where the population is so huge.

Part of this social phenomenon is the fact that there is a growing number of young Chinese men that will likely never marry due to the country’s one-child policy and the practice of many single Chinese women looking to marry Westerners.

Can you picture what it must be like to live in a society where about 25 percent of adult men will never have been married – and not by choice?  This is a pretty amazing phenomenon.  So, what are young single Chinese men to do?

Some men might start to marry younger women in both China and abroad.  This will likely increase their chances of marrying and is already in practice.  It is not uncommon to see an older Chinese man married to a much younger woman.  With growing numbers of unmarried Chinese men on the horizon, these types of relationships might become even more commonplace.

Other men might turn to online dating to meet someone abroad to increase the likelihood of meeting that special someone.  In fact, this is something that is already quite common!

Chinese food that Chinese women don’t eat

If you are going to have any success dating Chinese women, you’re going to have to throw any preconceived notions that you have about Chinese food out the window.

crab-wontons

Believe it or not, there is Chinese food and there is Americanized Chinese food.  Both can be really tasty, but you have to learn the difference between the two.

Like lots of cuisines, Chinese cooking has been modified in the West and is quite different from what most Chinese people in China actually eat.  At home, Chinese people usually eat lots of vegetables, some fruit, and sometimes a little meat.  Their food is simple yet delicious.

Meals are served family-style – even in restaurants – and everyone has a seat at the table.  Here’s a list of some popular Americanized “Chinese” dishes that aren’t really eaten in China:

  • Crab Wontons.  These deep-fried dumplings filled with cream cheese and crab are delicious, but they aren’t eaten in China.
  • Chop Suey.  This meal was actually invented by a Chinese cook working during the Gold Rush years for American miners.  The dish was really a conglomeration of leftovers!
  • Sweet and Sour Pork.  This dish seems more like it came from the American south than China.  With its battered and deep-fried chunks of pork or chicken slathered in a thick reddish-orange sauce, it is definitely not a local dish in China!
  • Egg Rolls.  Chinese people usually eat spring rolls, which are more delicate and crispier than egg rolls.
  • Beef and Broccoli.  Beef and broccoli as you know it is not a staple in China because the type of broccoli used is difficult to find there.
  • Fortune Cookies.  Fortune cookies are not Chinese!  Dessert is not common in China, but when something sweet is served after a meal, it’s usually an orange, which is considered good luck.

While it is perfectly alright to enjoy Americanized Chinese food, if you want to impress Chinese women, put a little effort into learning about their cultural cuisine.  Trust us, you won’t be sorry – authentic Chinese food is delicious!