Tag Archives: courtship


Dynamics of Asian dating and courtship

The dynamics of Asian dating and courtship can be quite interesting, especially when you know very little about Chinese culture.  When it comes to dating in the United States and dating in China, things are a little different.

internet dating

Casual dating is pretty common in the West, but this is not the case in China.  In fact, for those born before 1970, their experience in Asian dating was with their spouse only.  Things have gradually changed over the years, particularly among those attending college in international cities, but not as much as you might think.  Many Chinese women are still not used to the notion of casual, serial dating.

In China, potential mates are selected based on how a girl feels about the guy.  This might not sound so different, but her decision is based on her view of his age, education level, earning potential, temperament, personality, and ability to provide for her and her family.  It is also unusual for a Chinese girl to meet or spend time with a guy alone. Group settings are the norm unless she is completely sure of her feelings.  If you meet someone online, you may need to be aware of this and prepare for a few group dates.

Much of the time, if either a Chinese man or woman is interested in someone, he or she will have a mutual friend set up a group dinner where they all can meet and spend time together.  It’s almost like a matchmaking game.  If this dinner goes well, each person might begin to view the other as a potential marriage partner.  After this initial meeting, if the girl agrees to go out with the guy again, she’s formally acknowledging him as a viable marriage candidate.  Third dates typically indicate a mutual interest in marriage.

Western men need to be keenly aware of these cultural nuances when travelling to China to meet someone they have met online or even when dating a Chinese woman in the U.S.