Tag Archives: Gentleman


A gentleman as defined by Asian women

Whether you want to believe it or not, Asian women who are interested in dating are actually looking for a gentleman who will treat them right.  Are you that guy?

Bowler hat and moustache

Even if you think of yourself a gentleman, some Asian women might not necessarily agree.  Sure, you might be polite and charming, but the definition of a “gentleman” can vary across cultures.  In fact, the ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius played an integral role in defining social order and cultural bases, including how gentlemen should behave.

Let’s take a look at the four traits of a gentleman in Chinese culture and see if you stand up to the test:

  • Filial piety.  Also known as “Hsiao” in Chinese, this trait is the importance of family connections.  Confucius based much of his philosophy on filial piety, which puts an emphasis on sons paying appropriate respect to their parents, thus maintaining social order.  A gentleman will not only recognize filial piety, but will also actively fulfill his duties.
  • Benevolence.  It is known as “Jen” in Chinese, and it is what Confucius said separated men from animals.  It is also what separates a gentleman from normal men.  If filial piety is considered the bedrock of being a gentleman, benevolence is the apex.  He must be driven by a love of humanity and should strive to reach Jen throughout his life.
  • Propriety.  Known as “Li” in Chinese, propriety is another virtue all gentlemen must have.  There are certain rules and etiquette of society that gentlemen must follow; they should know and respect the social order.  A gentleman should act in accordance with overall social rules, especially when dealing with individuals based on their social status.
  • Sincerity.  Sincerity, or “Yi,” goes beyond just being honest.  A true gentleman should be sincere in all of his actions as it forms the basis of moral values and good faith.  In China, a gentleman’s actions are dictated by his love of virtue and desire to be righteous within his society.


How do you add up? Would Confucius approve?